Have you ever been to your doctor (Dr. Lee and I have matching raspberry hued Uggs. It was an instant bond. Although, how can one not form an immediate connection with a strange male examining one’s lady bits.) and had a test done only to hear the results: your levels are essentially normal? Or how about this one: you have no gross abnormalities.

Does that mean, if I am essentially normal, that I am also slightly abnormal? As in slightly insane? If I have no gross abnormalities, do I have many small, insignificant abnormalities? My husband is, quite rightly, laughing as he reads this. He is “convinced” I have a negative force field around me. You know… just a little deviation in my chemical make-up. When I depress the button for my car window to roll down it goes all the way down, then promptly goes back up. Three times. When I use the keyless entry on the garage door I have to hit enter twice after punching in my code. And not just my garage door; on anyone’s keyless entry.

Most of the physical anomalies (fertility challenges aside) are easily laughed off. How can double jointed shoulders not be a fun party trick? The slightly insane part…

While also quite accurate (oh admit it, we ALL have our slightly insane tendencies), not always quite so funny.

My negative force field extends to the yoga room. The class can be full, but guaranteed there is a boatload of space around my mat. Why doesn’t anyone want to practice near me? It hurts my feelings (and no, it has nothing to do with my competitive attitude because yoga is zen and calm, as am I in the hot room). It also hurts my abnormally sensitive feelings when I make a date with a friend and they don’t follow through or bother to call. Or when I want to be included in people’s plans and I’m not.  There is part of me that can not, and will not, ask to be included, or be the first one to reach out, or the first one to make that call. I have a very significant, freakish, fear of rejection. After all, if my own busted babymaker parts have rejected me for over six years, despite all my asking, begging, and pleading, why would anyone else be any different? I expect the people I’ve let close to me, to know that about me, to support me, and to make up for my obvious short comings. Is that asking to much? Do my feelings get hurt too easily when someone close to me lets me down? Do I shut down & turtle too quickly? Does all this crazy talk make me slightly insane?

So I am crazy. I’ve put it out there. You all know it. But also know, I’d really like you to put your mat down next to mine in yoga class.

Royal Raspberry Cake

Source: my mom’s archives

• 2 C all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/3 C butter at room temperature
• 1 C sugar
• 1 egg at room temperature
• 1 C milk at room temperature
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 3 to 4 C fresh raspberries

• Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease a 9×13 baking pan.
• Whisk together the flour, salt, and baking powder.
• Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add in the egg and beat until well combined. Add in the vanilla and beat another 10 seconds.
• Alternately mix in the flour and milk in three additions until just combined. Do not over mix.
• Spread the cake batter in your 9×13 pan.
• Top with the berries. I usually use a generous 4 cups.
• Bake for 30-35 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
• Let cool on a wire baking rack.

• Once the cake is cooled glaze with:
• 1 1/2 C icing sugar
• 2 Tbsp milk
• 1 tsp vanilla

• If you use 4 cups berries, your baking time might be a little longer.
• Even though swimsuit season is over (but only for the short time being because, according to my latest fortune cookie; I shall be traveling and coming into good fortune), here is the damage if you cut the cake into 12 generous servings: 250 calories per piece, 6 g fat, and 45 g carbs.
• My sincerest apologies for the length between posts; but I’m back now! Summer is over, my biggest print project is safely at the printers (Watch your mailbox for the 32 page catalogue coming to you. That is, if you live in SE Manitoba and care about building materials), and life is resuming it’s normal pace.

Be kind for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle.

Plato